Diary Entry One
Dis’Ma-te Or’naxt
System Lords Third Battle Group/p>

The mirror lies to me again. I remember so many faces, none of them my own. I am the supreme form of life in this universe, and yet I don’t see myself in my reflection. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am a god. And, yet, none of this is me. What does that mean?

The System Lords must not know my doubt. If they knew I was infected with the emotion of my many hosts, they would exterminate me. Though I often imagine that all of us have this affliction. My memories are those of every Goa’uld, and I distinctly remember these feelings, going back for thousands of years.  Maybe farther.  I remember the first mirror I saw, with that harsh reptilian face of the Unas host staring back at me.  The dark lack of emotion and dull senses.  No pleasure in that form.  No warmth or comfort.  This form is much better.

Enough! I have a job to do. This mirror is a distraction. I shall have no more of it.

The Tau’ri destroyed the System Lords who ruled this galaxy for thousands of years. But the Tau’ri were just there at the downfall. It was the old System Lord's arrogance and stupidity that destroyed them. We rise again, and we will rule this galaxy forever. And I shall be the greatest of us all.

I am invulnerable to their puny lead throwers. If they perturb me, I will cast them out of my way like insects. I will drain every Tau’ri of his very life, sapping his memories, hopes and dreams in the process. Such rich pleasure in the act. Such despair.

Diary Entry Two
Dis’Ma-te Or’naxt
System Lords Third Battle Group

I have long memories of Osiris.  Memories of his armies engaged with my Lord’s.  Memories of his cruelty, and his brilliance.  I even remember Setesh imprisoning him, though I know I was not there personally.  Sometimes my memories confuse me, and play havoc with my loyalty.

It is with some irony that I stepped through the gate, into one of Osiris’s old temples on Amarna.  He’s been a prisoner of the Tok’ra, and long since forgotten.  But this world, that has such vivid memories for me, was forgotten long before Osiris returned from his Nile grave and joined Anubis.  Its mine long abandoned.

I’ve often thought that, had the System Lords done a better job just remembering all the vast assets at their disposal, nothing could have unseated them.  But, with potentially eternal life, and memories that extend into lives lived before, it’s easy to forget.  And a god rarely employs personal inquisitors to keep track of such things.  Something we shall have to change.

The foolish Tau’ri learned of this old mine, and judging by their interest, it must still contain a rich supply of weapons grade naquadah.  Something they must be denied.  And, frankly, the intrusion into our temples and holdings must be repelled with prejudice, to restate our claim on this universe.

The fighting was more fierce than I anticipated.  Every time I face the Tau’ri, I’m torn between the contempt I have for them, and a biting fear I cannot allow to ever show.  Their weapons are primitive, but effective (even a wolf’s teeth are dangerous, if he is allowed to use them).  Their tactics innovative beyond the limits of their minds and short life spans.

In the end we were victorious, as expected.  Though we did not kill every Tau’ri that had set foot in the temple, we drove them from the world, and took possession of the mines.  Even now, slaves are pouring through the gate to retrieve the precious metal from the ground, and once again Amarna’s resource belongs to the System Lords.

Diary Entry Three
Dis’Ma-te Or’naxt
System Lords Third Battle Group

I am lucky to still be alive. Lucky my host remains beautiful and strong. Lucky to still command my wing.

It was a simple command, and at the start, flawlessly executed. Infiltrate Piramess’ main temple complex. Disable her planetary defenses, and sabotage the gate to cut off all rescue and escape. This was completed with ease.

The monks were rounded up, and with some convincing, the information we required was drawn from their minds. The weather control device’s engineering secrets were stored in a technical vault. We could retrieve this data, one piece at a time, and once complete, have what we needed to complete a weapon with this technology, affecting planetary weather locally, or globally, from orbit.

How the Tau’ri knew of our assault is unknown. But their intelligence must have come from a traitor within our ranks. No other way their plans could have been so devious, or well formed in such a short period of time.

We’d been on the surface less than six hours when they showed up. We’d only just learned of the location of the data crystals, and begun our advance on that structure, when we found it crawling with SGC soldiers, their snipers having a field day with our first advance.

I ordered the weather device reactivated, which caused a massive storm, blinding their sharp shooters, and giving our Ashrak a free reign, but still our forces were matched.

My lords insist the failure was mine. That I should have forseen the tactics of the Tau’ri. That I should have known they could reactivate the planet’s defenses, and were not, in fact, actively focused on stopping our acquisition of the data crystals.

In fact, if my lords had managed to obtain the key information about how Piramess’s defenses actually were controlled, and where and how the weather device data was stored before our assault the entire mission could have been completed within an hour’s time. Long before any SGC arrived. Instead, we wasted precious hours in the useless recreation of torture.

But, better to submit, and accept their wrath for now, while they believe they are in charge. One day, when we’ve completed our goals, the Tau’ri are no longer a threat, and the galaxy is once again under our control, I will be ready, with the loyalty of the armies. Then there will be a reckoning. For now, it is enough to expand our dominion, and respect throughout the galaxy. It is enough to survive, and thrive.

Diary Entry Four
Dis’Ma-te Or’naxt
System Lords Third Battle Group

I know what I must do.  How I must behave.  Yet at the moment, my emotions would not allow me to submit to the fury of my lords.

A brilliant idea was realized: to obtain the codes to enter the Tau’ri base, disable all of their security, and gain control of enough of that base to steal the few secrets they still keep from my lords.  Secrets and technology that would both add to our power, and leave the Tau’ri all but defenseless from a single massive assault on their world.

This entire conflict could have ended today, leaving my lords in full control of the galaxy once again, and the Tau’ri fit again to serve.  Order would be restored.  Violence would be at an end.  The galaxy would again progress and grow. 

Instead, poor planning and a lack of knowledge of the enemy, as well as arrogant assumptions about their capabilities and reactions led to our defeat.

That we were pushed back, repulsed by the Tau’ri is without shame.  We faced them in their stronghold.  We challenged them in the place and manner that respected them as the strongest enemy, and still we held our own, and escaped with many lives.  Our Jaffa were valiant, and my brothers and sisters were cool and accurate, focused on their missions and their work. 

It was believed the pulse device would kill or render harmless all in the mountain.  The entire base was expected to be silenced, giving us time to gain control of the failsafe, and retrieve the data and tech we came for, leaving before anyone knew exactly what happened.

I and some others had argued that there may at least be shielded spaces that allowed some warriors to engage us, and so overwhelming numbers were sent.  But in all the planning, the weapon was never actually tested in an environment similar to the SGC base we invaded.  The thick reinforced cement in that building is shielded against electromagnetic pulses from exterior nuclear detonations.  That shielding also protected most of the other levels of the base from the worst of our device.  Even their auxiliary power systems activated almost instantly, and were expected to be offline much longer.

As a result, by the time we reached our control objectives, the Tau’ri warriors were flowing in from every doorway, and the fight continued over just getting power and control to the computers, and keeping the failsafe out of their hands.  We never even got to the upper floors and the ancient chair.  In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if that was even there, or if the data we sought was even accessible from their gate control room.  The survey team members we took believed so.  None withstood our probes, and the one taken as a host could hide nothing.  But, none of them had actually worked with these things.  Our intelligence amounted to little more than the bemused mutterings of would be slaves as they told each other tales during a meal.

I know we will be forced to attempt again to obtain these things.  And I know that any suggestion that our mission was hampered by the actions and hurried frenzy of my lords will only lead to my no longer serving in any capacity other than entertaining them at my execution.  But I must find a way to ensure that, when we return, we have a chance at success.  Just killing Tau’ri will not win this fight.  And I fear their will cannot be broken through engagement, even upon our victory.  These slaves will only return to our fold through the utter breaking of their will.  Only when they have no options, and our supremacy is completely beyond even the fantasy of challenge, will they lay down their arms.  Only then will order return.

Diary Entry Five
Tec’Ma-te Or’naxt
System Lords Third Battle Group

Some battles are won, some are lost. Some are won through means other than the obvious.

Our mission to Leonops was simple. Prevent the Tauri from gaining a new resurrection technology, and obtain it for the System Lords. We failed in this mission on the ground, but actually succeeded in the end. We also succeeded in an extreme test of both our resolve, and that of the Tauri, which is considered by my Lords to be as valuable as Mahes technology.

During the intolerable trial we suffered with the Tauri, our ship was able to interface with Mahes’ control center, and download all the required information to allow us to explore and reconstruct his Court systems. We also were able to take the mental imprints of every Tauri participating, which not only give us more insight into their evolution beyond the original slaves we knew thousands of years ago, but also may allow us to tailor specific uses for their key officers present during the trial. Maybe even taking over their minds.

All of this is little consolation for the suffering I experienced, and I imagine everyone in my command experienced. Made more manifest by the fact that our Lords know how we reacted, as well. Know that we were taken to the breaking point. Know that many of us are hiding that fact.

I believe this was more the intention of our Lords, than any direct military objective. To better know the minds of key officers. To understand how far each can be trusted, and to what levels we are willing to go.

I can only believe this is the reason I was promoted after the mission, since we failed in our primary objectives of preventing the Tauri access to this technology. Rarely is a failure awarded.

I do not know to what level these mental imprints of the Mahes device allow my Lords to truly know all of our thoughts. Perhaps they just give them the impressions of the battles we fought that day? Perhaps, worrisome as it is, they will allow them to dig into our deeper motivations, and to know our true desires and objectives. If this is the case, I pray I receive enough warning to act, before it is too late.